Asking a Question the Cards Can Answer

The questions the cards answer well are open, about you, and about something you can act on. "Will he come back?" asks the cards to predict another person. "What is this relationship asking of me?" asks them to show you something you can use. Before a reading, look for the question under the question, and bring that one.

The rest of this guide is how to find it: why some questions work better than others, how I rework a question before I read it, ten examples by area of life, what not to ask, and how your question reaches me if you book a recorded reading.

What makes a question one the cards can answer?

It helps to be clear about what a tarot deck does. A card is an image that interrupts your usual line of thinking and puts a different frame on the problem. I wrote more about that in What a Tarot Deck Is Actually For. The short version: the cards are good at showing angles, tensions and blind spots. They are poor at handing down verdicts about events that have not happened.

So a question the cards can answer has three things going for it.

It is open. It starts with "what" or "how," not "will" or "should." An open question invites a reading. A closed one invites a coin toss.

It is about you. Your choices, your patterns, your part in the situation. That is the part of the picture you can see into and change.

It points at something real. A decision, a relationship, a stuck place at work. "What do I need to know?" is fine for a morning pull, but a reading you book should have a subject.

Why is "will he come back" a weaker question?

Because everything it asks about is out of your hands. Whether someone returns depends on what is going on in their head, their life and their timing. A reading cannot see into any of that, and I don't claim to. I don't predict the future, and I am not a psychic.

There is a second problem. Suppose the answer were "yes." What would you do with it? Wait? Most of the time, a yes-or-no question about another person leaves you exactly where you started, only now with a card to argue with.

"What is this relationship asking of me?" works differently. It puts the reading on your side of the table. The cards might point at a pattern you keep repeating, at something you have not said, or at the cost of waiting. Any of those gives you something to think about and something to try. Whether he comes back is still his business. What you do in the meantime is yours.

That shift, from forecasting someone else to understanding your own position, is most of what this guide is about.

What is the question under the question?

It is the thing you actually want to know, sitting underneath the question you first wrote down.

Most first-draft questions are about an outcome: Will I get the job? Will we get back together? Will the move work out? Under each of those there is usually a quieter question about you. Am I ready for this? Why do I keep ending up here? What am I afraid will happen if it does work out?

The surface question is about the event. The question under the question is about the person living through it. The cards have much more to say about the second one.

A useful test: ask yourself what you would do differently if you knew the answer. If the honest reply is "nothing, I'd just feel better," you are probably holding the surface question. Keep digging until the answer would change something.

How do I rework a question before I read it?

I read every question before I touch the cards, usually more than once. Two questions can sound alike and need very different readings, so I want to know which one I am holding. When a question needs reworking, these are the moves I make, and you can make them yourself before you book.

1. Take out the yes or no. "Should I take the job?" becomes "What should I weigh before I decide about this job?"
2. Take out the other person's mind. "Does she still care about me?" becomes "What do I want from this friendship now?"
3. Take out the deadline. "When will I meet someone?" becomes "What is getting in the way of me meeting people I like?" Timing is something a reading can talk about loosely; a date is not.
4. Put yourself back in it. "Why is my boss like this?" becomes "How can I handle working for this boss without it running my week?"
5. Name the decision, if there is one. If you are choosing between two paths, say what they are. The reading can look at each.

If I can't tell which question you mean, I ask by email before I read. One short exchange is cheaper than a whole reading spent on the wrong question.

What are good questions to ask a tarot reader?

Ten examples, by area of life. They are examples to borrow from, not a script. Your own words will be better, because they will carry your situation.

Love and relationships

1. What is this relationship asking of me right now?
2. What keeps me choosing partners who aren't available, and what would help me choose differently?

Work and career

3. What should I understand about myself before I decide whether to leave this job?
4. Where is my effort at work going that isn't paying off?

Money and big decisions

5. What is making this decision feel harder than it should, and what would help me make it?

Family

6. How can I show up for my family without losing track of what I need?

Friendship

7. What has changed in this friendship, and what do I want it to be now?

Home and change

8. What am I hoping a move will fix, and what will come with me?

Creative work

9. What is stopping me from finishing the thing I keep starting?

Yourself

10. What pattern am I repeating this year that I'd like to break?

Notice what they have in common. Each one starts with "what" or "how." Each one is about the person asking. None of them asks the cards to name a winner, a date or someone else's feelings.

What should I not ask a tarot reader?

Some questions I won't read, and some I will read only in a narrower form. Neither is about being squeamish. It is about what a reading can honestly offer.

Health, legal and financial questions that need a professional. A reading can help you think about how you are coping with a diagnosis, a court case or a debt. It cannot tell you what is wrong with your body, how a case will go, or what to invest in. Those go to a doctor, a lawyer or a financial professional. That line is not mine alone; a widely shared sample code of ethics for tarot professionals says the same.

Other people's private lives. "Is he cheating?" "What is my sister really thinking?" A reading about someone who isn't present, and hasn't agreed to it, is a guess dressed up as insight. Ask how the situation is affecting you instead.

Death, pregnancy and other things the cards should not be predicting. These are too important to hand to a shuffle.

The same question, again. If you have had a reading on a question and didn't like the answer, a second reading the next day rarely helps. Sit with the first one. If you read for yourself, The Real Challenges of Reading Tarot for Yourself covers why re-pulling is so tempting.

Pure yes or no. You can ask one. You will get more from the open version.

How do I prepare for a tarot reading?

Less than you think. Three things help.

Write the question down in one sentence. If you can't get it into one, you probably have two questions, which is fine; book a reading long enough for both.

Note what is going on. What prompted the question, what you have already tried, and what you are afraid of. None of that is required, but all of it helps me read the cards against your actual situation.

Decide what would count as useful. A clearer view of a decision? Permission to stop doing something? A next step? Knowing what you want from the reading makes it easier to recognize when you have it.

You don't need to know anything about tarot. You don't need to believe the cards know anything. You only need a question you care about.

How does your question reach me for a recorded reading?

At checkout. When you book a recorded reading, the Stripe form asks for your question in a sentence, and that sentence is enough for me to start.

If you want me to have background, reply to your Stripe receipt or email me. If anything is unclear, I ask by email before I read. The three business days start once I have the question, and the reading arrives as a private YouTube link to the video walkthrough plus a written synthesis.

If you would rather work the question out together as the cards come out, a live reading over Zoom lets you steer as we go. Recorded, Live, or Written: Which Reading to Book lays out the trade-offs, and What a Recorded Tarot Reading Is, and Who It Is For covers the recorded format in full. If you are still deciding who to read with, start with How to Choose an Online Tarot Reader, and if cost is the question, What an Online Tarot Reading Costs has the numbers. You can read more about me and how I work, too.

A good question doesn't have to be clever. It has to be yours, and it has to be about something you can move. Find the question under the question, and the cards have something to work with.